She’s only making plans for Nigel…

It’s that time of year, cold, grey and the sparkle of the holidays has faded.  We feel jaded and want to hibernate.  Usually I’d let myself give in to that feeling but not this year.  This year I have dreams, plans and goals. Lots of them! My first one is to complete a month of FatMumSlim photos on Instagram, so far so good.   My snaps aren’t great but I’m having fun.  You can find me under the moniker shake_your_tush. My next goal is an ongoing one.   I want to make at least 2 original items of clothing every month. This is an easy target but should spur me on to creating some fun pieces.  Hopefully!! I also want a new tattoo and have asked a good friend to design something for me – watch this space! My other plans for this year revolve around family, friends and music so lots of fun to be had. Now, on to my big dream for the year… Travel. I’ve always loved our world, there is so much to see and learn about. Different cultures, art, people and architecture to learn about.  It’s so easy to let where you live become the centre of your universe, to become comfortable where you are and to forget about everything else that is out there.  It’s been 9.5 years since I left the familiarity of the UK and quite frankly, I’m bored.  I need adventure, culture, art, new friends and experiences.  And I need all this now! So, I’m going to take myself off on some adventures.  I have a list of places to...

It’s been a while (and here’s why).

Nothing prepares you for losing someone you love.  No amount of time or forward planning can make it easier.  It hits you like a blunt instrument at the back of the neck, like sharp stabbing to your stomach, it’s as though your legs have been removed and replaced with immovable slabs on concrete.  Life continues to happen yet you look on as though you are a voyeur, not a participant.  The sun still rises every morning just as it always has but it feels different now. More intense somehow. My boyfriend had lung cancer and died unexpectedly a few weeks ago.  He’d been feeling better and was planning to play his cajon at Music in the City  (a free music festival in Southampton).  He’d been out for lunch, been driving his little red car with the roof down and had even had a beer in the sunshine.  He rang me at that afternoon, he sounded so well, we were looking forward to a weekend together.  That weekend didn’t happen the way we’d planned. Since then my life has been very different.  I’ve been concentrating on creating a new normal for myself and my children.  I’ve got a part time job for the first time in 5 years and I’m throwing my mixed up, crazy headed, distracted self into creating a happy, hygge home for my family. As for me, well, I’ve spent too much money, am eating too much and am not really facing up to what happened which is why I’m writing this. I hope this, along with the sewing I started today, will be a step towards...

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